Wednesday, May 18, 2005

comments on "Night Poems" version 4

I'm likin' it. I read "Night Poems" to Kent. We discussed the final period (.) of the poem(s). It's not really ending a sentence. K liked the last few lines as independent statements. They seem to me broken thoughts. The last line of the preceding section, "My eyes turn toward something they saw closed.", might be turned toward the fading dream ... the final lines being all that remains.

I don't know. I don't really like the idea of "dreams" as something separate from what we do as a matter of course. They're not a different place, are they? Then again, yes, dreams do have different rules. I find myself using dreams to suggest something, maybe something too obvious. I've never liked the then-I-woke-up way out of fantasyland. It's how Alice gets home. But if a dream is just a dream it's easily escaped, it's not a real place. Hm. Maybe it is a real place AND a dream.

I got rid of the numbering, tried dashes instead, then decided I liked the extra spacing.

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