comments on 2nd version

What to say. It's not an improvement. At least version 1 builds up to something, sorta. But "an inherent worth chews its wound" is no improvement on "the hard sharp edge of worth" ... though both are kinda chewy, which is good. And the ocean folding sheets? It could be fresh if it weren't a one-off, as it is it's desperate and lame. I'll try again tomorrow or something.