Friday, April 22, 2005

comments on "Modern Witches", version 6

I wrote this version the same evening I posted version 5. I went ahead and did what I contemplated in comments -- I rearranged the stanzas and pared the repetitions of the refrain. But, especially since I'd just posted a version, I wanted a few days to let the changes gel. I made some minor edits before posting just now. But I think the poem is done.

The end is sort of a let down. From the opening stanza's cold God to the closing stanza's burnt casserole. But it makes sense to me. It's a defying-God sort of let down.

I almost said I wouldn't write a poem so essay-like today. But I guess I did, didn't I?

No comments: