Friday, July 11, 2008

comments on "cake the walk" version 6

When last we left our intrepid poem it had no title. Now it does. Like it?

Other than that, if you don’t want to bother reading the darn thing through one more time, is the placement of the chings. They’ve moved down a few lines so that the hand is more directly patting them out.

I think that's it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like the title "Cake" ok. I think it works. To keep the conversation going, what about something even more sugary like "Fondant"? Or maybe "Crowded Pocket"?

Glenn Ingersoll said...

I like the phrase "crowded pocket" ... it works well on its own.