Showing posts with label thousand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thousand. Show all posts

Friday, May 19, 2023

How did I get to be used?

I google my name. And bing it. I run my name in Goodreads and Amazon. I check in on the state of my online presence. I confirm that I have an online presence. Not a big one. But this Glenn Ingersoll’s footprint compares favorably with the other Glenn Ingersolls, the Canadian musician, the lawyer, the right wing pontificator. 

Recently I thought to run my name at Abe Books, an aggregator site for sellers of used and antiquarian books. I was just bored? I didn’t expect anything to show up. In order for there to be used copies of anything I have written there have to be enough copies circulating that the few people who have one of my books have to decide it’s worth the trouble to try to sell it. 


Thousand, my 100,000 word prose poem epic, was put out by Mel C. Thompson Publishing (a friend in a small apartment in Lafayette), on a print on demand basis. If anyone has a copy it’s because they either bought it from or were given it by me or Mel. There aren’t errant boxes shipped here or there that could be emptied onto a remainder table. 


At Abe Books I find there is a dealer in the UK selling copies of Thousand. Currently they have for sale the whole 10-volume set (vols. sold individually), and they have 20 copies of the set. When I showed Kent he said, “Maybe they don’t really have any copies; they’re just ready to buy it new from Amazon & resell to anyone who wants to buy it from them.” The bookseller does list Thousand as “new,” so Kent could be right. You can get Thousand from Bookshop.org, which also isn’t Amazon, so maybe it’s the same sort of thing. The UK dealer is putting Thousand up on a site for used books, but so what? It doesn’t have to be a used book just because the site is explicitly for used books. 


As of this writing I also find one copy of vol. 1 for sale (“used”) by a bookseller in Montgomery, Illinois. I rather like the idea that there might be a secondary market for copies of Thousand. It implies that there is/was a primary market. 

Saturday, August 14, 2021

new year’s resolutions — so far

I just finished a letter I began a month ago. When I send a copy of Thousand out I include a handwritten letter. My writing is pretty legible, if sometimes ambiguous. A friend recently read “month” when I’d written “mouth.” I suppose I could count up how many copies of Thousand I’ve sent out. These are not paid orders. I am sending out books to people I like/admire. 

I’ve gotten out a few this year. Not a lot. Not much response. I don’t blame anybody for not writing back. I can be a good correspondent, or a bad one. Everybody’s busy. And what does one say? So far I’ve always asked before sending, so the Thousand should never be a surprise. 


I continue to send out work — to submit, goes the lingo. The process hasn’t been rip-roaring this year. But looking back over LoveSettlement posts I see twelve publications. Not nothing! 


The sense of discouragement sets in with the book length manuscripts. 


Autobiography of a Book has now been out to 18 publishers. Eight rejected it. The other ten have yet to respond. At the writing of my new year’s resolutions post Book had only been rejected three times. I have a goal of sending Book to 100 places. Are there 100 places to send it? If Book gets its 100th rejection, I will reevaluate. Maybe at that point I will just post it on the blog or upload a file to a print on demand service.


When I have energy to market a manuscript I default toward Autobiography of a Book, thus the full-length poetry manuscript is neglected. That one is currently titled Nobody You Know. It is out to one publisher. 


#keepyournumbersup … There are 30 places still considering work I’ve sent out since the beginning of July (to pick a recent date). That number includes poems, chapters from Book, and the two book manuscripts. Pretty good. It means I am not neglecting the process. 


The question with which I ended the new year’s resolution post, “I wonder how many readers a published poem gets?,” got a data point in April

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Thousand - reviews at Goodreads

There are now two reviews of Thousand at goodreads.com


The review by Steve Masover appeared October 25, 2020. Steve wrote a review that would make a great cover blurb:


Exuberant! Unbounded! Inexplicable, but why would you want to? Hilarious! Disconcerting! Lascivious! Delectable! You can't make this stuff up, but Glenn Ingersoll did, one hundred words at a time.




The review by Jim Murdoch appeared March 2, 2021. Jim’s review is generous and thorough:


When, in 2013, I reviewed Fact, Glenn’s tiny (i.e. physically small) collection of short poems, I said it wouldn’t be for everyone. The same proviso is true of the, by comparison, gargantuan Thousand. To be fair that could be said of every book ever written so let me drill it down: if you got lost on the second page of The Unnamable or found your head spinning after a few lines of ‘Howl’ then Thousand is probably not for you. To be honest I’m the kind of person who finds the word “epic” off-putting no matter what you’re talking about but an “epic prose poem” just sounds like hard work and that’s exactly what this book is which is not a bad thing in itself unless you’re afraid of hard work; hard work can be rewarding. 


We could argue about the fine line between poetic prose and prose poetry all day long but I couldn’t find many books that chose to call themselves “epic prose poems,” and, at 476 pages, Edgar Qunitet’s Ahasvérus is the only one that came close to matching Thousand’s 100,000 words. 


That said just because a book’s big doesn’t make it a tome and just because a poem is long doesn’t make it epic. What makes a poem epic in the traditional sense? The Bedford Introduction to Literature describes the genre as follows:


An epic poem is a lengthy narrative poem, ordinarily involving a time beyond living memory in which occurred the extraordinary doings of the extraordinary men and women who, in dealings with the gods or other superhuman forces, gave shape to the mortal universe for their descendants, the poet and their audience, to understand themselves as a people or nation.

 and as much as I didn’t expect to be writing this that’s not a bad description of Thousand (only prosier) since much of the action takes place out of time and across multiple dimensions. All that’s missing is a tardis. What I expected to find in the above description was talk of the hero’s journey and although there are heroes in Thousand—a Jesus Christ for one although not any Jesus I recognise—there isn’t a central heroic figure, an Odysseus, Beowulf or even an Alice to follow through these many wonderlands. Most of the characters are ordinary-ish folk when they’re not leprechauns, river goblins, seventeen-armed angels, three-headed giants or transcendental butlers. 


Why a prose poem though and not a novel? I don’t have an answer for that but this comment from Glenn raises some interesting issues:


I understand that many readers wish words were invisible, that their meanings would instantaneously and without ambiguity translate to their minds the important stuff—the story, the scene, the conflict. That sounds like a philosophy of prose. Poetry wants you to notice the way it’s being said as well as what it’s saying. – Fact: an introduction to the poem poems of Glenn Ingersoll


There is a story here—many stories—but the stories, if you’ll forgive me, aren’t the whole story. Thousand doesn’t follow a traditional linear narrative. Sometimes you notice the transition but often not. One minute we’re jogging along nicely in the third person then POW! a narrator appears out of nowhere and PFFT! vanishes as mysteriously. One minute you’re reading about two sisters, Emily and Eula, then the story veers left and the next thing you know it’s inside a radio that Eula turns off. Or sometimes the narrative just arbitrarily jumps to a new story, like someone changing the TV channel on you without asking. Usually you know when this is about to happen because Glenn helpfully begins the new storyline with “Once upon a time there was a…” a dog (most often it’s a dog and sometimes he’s called Prince or Sir) or a cat or a boy or a chimneysweep or a caiman. 


This continual switching of stories—none of which are brought to a satisfactory conclusion—reminded me of Calvino’s If on a winter’s night a traveller which I gave a rather mean-spirited 3 stars when I reviewed it not because it wasn’t well written but because I felt cheated and I realised this was going to happen again and again. The same goes for Thousand. You’re continually getting short-changed and what’s more annoying is there isn’t an obvious thread (none I picked up on) linking the stories. Yes, characters do reappear like the sisters but they’re not developed. The same with the dogs, the angels, the leprechauns… we spend a few pages following them then something shiny catches our narrator’s eye (I use the term “narrator” loosely) and he’s off again which is really annoying because there’re so many good ideas here crying out for development and resolution. My favourite begins (sans the helpful ‘Once upon a time’):


The girl pulls open the door and steps into the white room. She steps around the naked figure and kneels on the floor before a white box. From the pocket of her


         Thousand: Six Hundred Six


jacket she takes a small gold box. She pops the lid on the box and dips a finger in. An ant climbs onto her finger and walks rapidly around it. The girl puts her finger into the keyhole of the white box. When she removes the finger the ant has stayed behind. “I don’t know why people don’t talk to you. You’re standing there and somebody comes by and doesn’t say anything to you. It’s like you weren’t even there. That’s rude. I hate rude people. I won’t talk to them. They can just go to hell, that’s what I


         Thousand: Six Hundred Seven


think. They can just go to hell.” The girl pushes herself up, slaps imaginary dust from her pantyhose, and straightens her cap. She’s not wearing a cap. It’s something else. […]


         Thousand: Six Hundred Eight


The girl is wearing tan slacks, no cap, a button-up shirt. Yes, it’s clear now. There are no bats or purses. White room like a doctor’s exam room. A table covered with white paper, a white stool with wheels, a


         Thousand: Six Hundred Nine


couple white cabinets. Everything white. Including the figure in each room’s center. White like a worn out hospital sheet, maybe, not white like a white person. Not person-like, the girl tends to think, if she hasn’t managed to ignore it completely, letting each voice play like a slight variant of the same bad radio program, advertisements for the Way of Anxiety. […]


         Thousand: Six Hundred Ten


The girl pushes herself up, slaps imaginary dust from the knees of her slacks and centres their carefully ironed creases. With measured steps she passes again around the complaining creature, closing the door as she leaves the room. In the next room there is another white box beside another naked figure.


This scene is repeated with slight variations several times and reminded me of Beckett’s late prose and also his play Catastrophe. Predictably we learn little about what’s going on here. Later we’re told her uniform has the letters ORO stitched in gold on all the “labels” (lapels?) which stands for Official Rotunda of the Others but that’s it. The next thing we know she…


finds herself standing on the hard packed clay of a desert highway. “Knock knock,” she says. The tables are gone, the chairs are gone, the


         Thousand: Six Hundred Seventy-Nine


walls are gone. The stars are so bright she can see by them. More or less. She scuffs her shoe against the road and raises a puff of dust. The arm that rounds her shoulder and the kiss that touches her cheek should surprise her, she will think later, trying to remember everything. Wouldn’t that be one reason it makes sense to regard this all a dream? One of many reasons, that is. “Welcome to the place between places,” the voice says, a voice sleepy as a kiss. “I am an angel.”


The angel leads her to a settlement of tents outside a city. The residents, although they don’t speak her language, take her in and appear friendly. They bathe her, supply appropriate clothing and let her spend the night. In the morning she finds she can understand them. It turns out the tent-dwellers are waiting to queue to gain access to the city which may or may not be a place of education. Anyway she gets in and meets a dragon who offers to be her teacher:


         Thousand: Seven Hundred Twenty-Seven


“When the pupil is ready, the teacher will come,” the dragon says, holding up a claw. Impaled on the claw, the girl sees, is one of the dried ticks. “No,” she says. “Then never mind,” the dragon says, tucking the tick back into the fold of its ear. The dragon lays its head on the floor, tucks forefeet under chin, and closes its eyes.


And then we’re off at a tangent and, apart from a brief mention later, we never learn of her fate or, indeed, the dragon’s.


The book began life as an exercise. Glenn determined to produce one hundred words a day every day for a thousand days. Quite a feat. Of course other writers have worked like that before, the Australian Gerald Murnane for one. Glenn began in May 2010 and wrote on his blog, “There is, so far, no plot. A plot of some sort may begin to accrue. I suspect it will. In my writing I tend to pull all the parts together, even if I am also trying to push them apart.”


The work that appears on the blog is not written ahead of time. I write it. I post it immediately after writing it. This is not to say the posts go up completely first draft. I write, read the work over, revise (occasionally extensively), reread until it works for me, then post. But I do not write ahead. – thousand explained some more


The final entry was on January 21st 2013. Over the three years there are several entries tagged thousand process but none, sadly, tagged thousand explained. So what is it about? Does it have to be about anything? Can it not simply be the sum of its parts? I have mixed feelings on this. By all means expect your readers to bring something of themselves to the work but how much is fair trade? Five percent? Ten? Towards the end of Thousand meaning is discussed and it’s worth sharing a bit of that:

         

Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Eight


Understanding is overrated. Have you ever watched a foreign film without subtitles? Or read a modern poem? If it really doesn’t matter whether you understand you can appreciate other things. The music in language, say. Birds sing in the trees and we’re told they do it to attract a mate. Is that everything? It’s a lot, sure; everybody knows that who doesn’t have a date for Saturday night. But singing’s probably a pleasure for the singer, too. Maybe birds are sending sophisticated messages, messages we have yet to decode. I’m not saying we shouldn’t bother seeking meaning. Except sometimes.


         Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Nine


Indeed, sometimes you need to let go the frenzied grasping after meaning. Take pleasure in mystery. Live in it undispelled. Ignorance as sensuous experience.


He acknowledges that we’re all “meaning-making animal(s)” and it’s hard “taking your hand off the wheel of the relentless inner drive and shedding the fear that meaninglessness will hurt you.” He’s right. I found it immensely hard.


         Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Two


A dream doesn’t mean what it presents as nonsense. It really means really profound shit. There’s a good reason you dreamed that. Right? Well, that’s your mind. Working away. Coming up with gods and symbols and finding faces in burnt tortillas. That’s your mind.


I said at the start this is not a book for everybody and I stand by that because not everyone—and I include myself at the head of that list—can unlearn how to read the way they’ve been reading for the past, in my case, fifty-five years. It’s like the first time you heard microtonal music. It just sounds wrong. Like a piano badly in need of tuning. And yet an out-of-tune piano has a flavour that isn’t unpalatable. It can even be comforting especially if you grew up with a piano in a house that never, or hardly ever, got tuned. This book plinky plonks along quite merrily and doesn’t take itself too seriously. As Glenn himself concedes:


As a story it’s probably more frustrating than rewarding. I’ve enjoyed writers like John Yau and Clark Coolidge who write things that seem to be fiction sometimes, but the words refuse loyalty to any single narrative. The reading is fun for the sounds and the surprises and the wit rather than the what-happened-next of a plot. – thousand in thirds


Meaning, of course, doesn’t only indicate a level of understanding but also a degree of appreciation, an emotional as opposed to an intellectual, connection. This I do have. Reading Thousand was something I went through, something I experienced and although I’ve already forgotten much of the specifics the overall experience will stay with me. That means something. You cannot read this book and not be affected. You might not understand it or be able to grasp the bigger picture but that shouldn’t be regarded as a loss. When Beckett was overseeing Jessica Tandy’s interpretation of Mouth in Not I he told her he hoped the piece would work “on the nerves of the audience, not it’s intellect.” Thousand has a similar logorrhoeal feel to it. Although it was written in bite-sized chunks I think it was a mistake to publish it with breaks. It’s a single paragraph, a wall of words that ideally, to my mind, should be read in a single sitting although who would have the stamina for that I’ve no idea.


At time of writing the book is free to download at Smashwords and I would encourage you to give it a go and not be like I was the first time I started this and quit after five hundred words. Gird up your loins, grit your teeth, pee before you sit down to start and don’t even think about reading it if there’s background music on or the kids are still awake and acting up. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Thousand, a ten-volume prose-poem-epic by Glenn Ingersoll

100 words a day for a thousand days. That’s why it’s called Thousand. No other title could compass it. 

It begins when there’s a knock on the door. Somebody you know? Or no one you will ever meet? Before you go to the door you will need a drink.

A transcendental butler, a tea party for gnomes, a comet with perfect understanding, a boy who climbs down from the sky, a tour guide for the end of the world, an ant as key to a secret box, lost languages, a barnstormer, washing dishes. 


Originally a project for Glenn Ingersoll’s LoveSettlement blog, Thousand has been realized as a ten-volume book by Mel C. Thompson Publishing. Each plain-black volume neatly contains 10,000 of the whole’s 100,000 words. 

Thousand is available from Amazon.

Series: Thousand (Book 1)
Paperback: 104 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (September 12, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1727326571
ISBN-13: 978-1727326574

Also available as an ebook from Smashwords


Tuesday, May 07, 2019

Reading with Babar-in-Exile at Octopus on 5/9/19

I will be reading with Babar-in-Exile this coming Thursday. Here’s the announcement from their website:

Babar in Exile celebrates its FOURTH BIRTHDAY (!!) with a romp through the minds of light-struck poets (and maybe some cake). For our 18th installment, we are excited to feature two former and very active participants of Café Babar and Poetry above Paradise series of the 1990’s who have been in the poetry trenches ever since. Blogger and poet Glenn Ingersoll currently runs the reading and interview series Clearly Meant at the Berkeley Public Library. And mental health advocate and multi-genre writer Deborah Fruchey is hard at work editing an anthology of tribute poetry to Julia Vinograd for Zeitgeist Press. As well we welcome “honorary Babarian” Yume Kim, a perspective-challenging SF poet who will feel right at home with these rad oldsters.

So come on down to check out a slice of Bay Area poetry history, now and in the making, and make your way home with a bindle full of inspiration and a thimbleful more hope for the species.

Babar in Exile #18

a revival of the Cafe Babar, Paradise Lounge, and Club Chameleon reading series
featuring

Glenn Ingersoll

Deborah Fruchey

and Yume Kim

and you, in our infamous open mic

Hosted by Richard Loranger and Paul Corman-Roberts

free of charge and oppression

Glenn Ingersoll hit the scene back in the 90s when Cafe Babar and Poetry Above Paradise were hot, and snagged features at both places. Where fame went after that is hard to say. Currently Ingersoll works for the Berkeley Public Library where he hosts Clearly Meant, a reading & interview series. He keeps two blogs, LoveSettlement and Dare I Read. He has two chapbooks, City Walks (broken boulder) and Fact (Avantacular). Recent work is in Sparkle + BlinkMaryThe Walrus, and Caveat Lector. The multi-volume prose beast, Thousand, is on its way from MCT Publishing.

Deborah Fruchey tried to write her first book at the age of 8. She went by the name Debralee Pagan for a while, but people still mispronounced it, so she gave up. Her first novel was chosen as a Best Book by the American Bookseller’s Association, and her manual on mental illness was once described as “The best book of its kind.” Her latest is a volume of flash fiction called Priestess of Secrets. All of her work is available on Amazon. Deborah has spent too much of her life in churches, psych wards, and poetry readings, and has appeared in 10 anthologies. She is the editor of the coming anthology in tribute to Julia Vinograd, from Zeitgeist Press - you are invited to contribute! Her ambition is to acquire a cult following and a flat stomach. If she can’t have that, she would settle for never receiving a robocall ever again!

Yume Kim lives in San Francisco but commutes to South Bay for tutoring/teaching. She is a grad  recipient of both an MA in English and an MFA in Creative Writing from San Francisco State University. She is also a Kundiman fellow recipient from Fordham University. Her forthcoming chapbook (title TBA) will be published by Nomadic Press sometime this year.

Date: 
Thursday, May 9, 2019 - 7:00pm
Octopus Literary Salon
2101 Webster Street at 22nd St.
Uptown Oakland

19th Street BART

Monday, January 21, 2013

Thousand: Thousand

thou. Sand castle, sandpaper. Let me find you, says the wind. The dog lifts her head, ears pricked, nostrils twitching. What did she hear? Something transdimensional? A worm turning? At one end of the world a bell rings; at the other someone waits, listening for an answer. We made it to the top of the mountain. To get any higher, hail an angel. Or a cyclone. Thank you, days, months, years, for counting. There’s not a minute to lose, yet here they are, all over the ground. How many have you squirreled away? Three two-minute segments, one five-minute, one one.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Nine

body is waiting, no one in it. Will it let the breath in? The body’s not sure. Sometimes you have to say no. The breath could go back to searching. It’s always been a seeker, anyway. There are grains of sand to check under again. The telephone rings in the house. The only guest picks it up. “No,” he says. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.” When he hangs up the phone he feels bad. He goes back to his room. “You and me,” thinks the woman standing over the dog. She’s not intending to take the dog in. I and

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Eight

knack. You know how you can be so good at something it doesn’t take any thought? Typing, playing the piano, executing somersaults. When you started working on the task it was difficult, maybe seemed impossible, but you kept at it. At some point it became effortless. Your body no longer needed you to think out each step in the process. Perhaps her husband got lost. Finding a good night’s sleep had been impossible. He took a wrong turn. His breath returns to his body having not found him in the dust and ash, having searched the sands without luck. The

Friday, January 18, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Seven

goat stew. The woman smiles at the dignified swing of the dog’s approving tail. The scrapings drop out of the pot into a washtub that long ago split down one side, some of the stew in burnt chunks and two bones thick as a fist. The pup ducks under his mother’s chin to snatch one and lope off for a lone and satisfying gnaw. The dog pretends she didn’t notice. The woman laughs. It’s her first laugh of the day. Earlier she was listening to her husband breathe. Breath didn’t seem at home in him anymore. Or he’d lost the

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Six

If the dog knew she was really a princess, having been enchanted into this form by a vindictive fairy, she betrayed no hint of it. Her second litter was weaned by this time, though the most teat-addled of her sons still had to be bitten once or twice a day. He didn’t hold it against her and would curl up at her feet while she slept. This sunny but chilly afternoon the dog trots around to the back of the guesthouse, and finds the proprietress, serving spoon in one hand, pot to be scraped out in the other. Smells like

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Five

When a car or a donkey cart needed by, the dog would get to her feet, yawn, and move aside, doing this favor purely, you could tell, out of the goodness of her heart. With the traveler past she would return to the otherwise restful spot as it made sense to. She kept up daily rounds, reviewing the usual dumping places, keeping tabs on the comings and goings of other dogs and engaging in the occasional exchange over hierarchy, enjoying the infrequent scratch behind the ear by a friendly hand or dodging the less pleasant boot. She didn’t bark much.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Four

I can only reply: You have beautiful lips. I love to see them move. They open, they close, they purse, they spread. You make fine noises. Such a variety of noises! I can feel their atmosphere, the conforming of air to your purpose. It’s a local, ephemeral sculpture. Paint it. Make a mold. Let it go. Once upon a time there was a dog. The dog had no name. None had been given to her. Other dogs recognized her by her smell, by the way she moved, the sounds she made, her shape and attitude. She slept in the street.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Three

to let that good go. It’s built into you. It’s not like ungrasping something. More like taking your bones out and laying them on the table then loving the wondrous sensation of being boneless. You never knew you could relax so much. It’s not easy, that’s what I’m saying. To stop meaning. How can I express it in words? Words are meaning objects. They aren’t anything but meaning. Except noise. Some music maybe. The bodies making them. Squiggles on the page. So go with noise, bodies, traces left on surfaces. But can’t those be read, too? you protest. To which

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-Two

which the received version is surely garbled. You look it over. You think to yourself, I can fix it. The muffler, for example, it means that I was always a quiet baby. My mother’s smile symbolizes creative potential and it takes two to create. Stuff like that, you know. A dream doesn’t mean what it presents as, nonsense. It really means really profound shit. There’s a good reason you dreamed that. Right? Well, that’s your mind. Working away. Coming up with gods and symbols and finding faces in burnt tortillas. That’s your mind. It can be good. But it’s time

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety-One

with that, that’s unnatural. Surely an abomination. Like shellfish, like little piggies. Like aeroplanes and choo-choo trains and mechanical lambs eating plastic ivy. God isn’t dead. God was never alive so death had no opportunity to be involved. God is one of the many manifestations of non-life. Like a star, like a cold little comet whose gravity is just enough to keep its icy heart from breaking up. If I have a meaning I’m ignorant of it. I suppose I could be like a dream where the dream isn’t the answer but provides the opportunity to retell a tale of

Friday, January 11, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Ninety

car, whispered conspiratorially, you’re convinced, hatching a plan to boost your Cadillac. This is the sort of entrée your mind serves up when your eyes are shut and your breathing steady and it’s dark and it’s only you in there, only you and your meaning-making mind which is ever working, ever fiddling. Maybe you just want to rest. But that’s not the way it works. You’re a meaning-making animal. Letting that go, taking your hand off the wheel of the relentless inner drive and shedding the fear that meaninglessness will hurt you, living instead in meaninglessness’s inscrutable purposes and fine

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Nine

Indeed, sometimes you need to let go the frenzied grasping after meaning. Take pleasure in mystery. Live in it undispelled. Ignorance as sensuous experience. Your mind may thwart your intentions and present a meaning on a platter. That is its nightly habit. Every dream threads random objects into a vital narrative: your mother’s conniving smile, a rusty muffler, the aftertaste of carpet slippers. The mind tells you you took your mother to dinner and proudly asked for two orders of carpet slippers, the house specialty, but all during the meal she whispered to the rusty muffler from your dad’s first

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Eight

fine. Understanding is overrated. Have you ever watched a foreign film without subtitles? Or read a modern poem? If it really doesn’t matter whether you understand you can appreciate other things. The music in language, say. Birds sing in the trees and we’re told they do it to attract a mate. Is that everything? It’s a lot, sure; everybody knows that who doesn’t have a date for Saturday night. But singing’s probably a pleasure for the singer, too. Maybe birds are sending sophisticated messages, messages we have yet to decode. I’m not saying we shouldn’t bother seeking meaning. Except sometimes.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Seven

No doubt we’ll recognize it, having never been there before. I hope there’s a mattress. I don’t know about you but I’m ready for a good lie down. The crocodiles were just the icing on the cake with the cake being death. It isn’t easy to eat. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. You know that saying, right? I’ve never understood it. What’s the point of cake if not eating it? Somebody explained it to me once and I kinda got it. But I forgot. I’m so over cake. If I have to die never understanding,

Monday, January 07, 2013

Thousand: Nine Hundred Eighty-Six

slip back under. Just as it disappeared, a second fin, slightly farther away, rose, the tip sparkling where the sun caught in the water on the skin. “I see them,” I remember saying and turned to my mother. She didn’t see them. It made me think, if she’s staring right at them and she doesn’t see them, what else doesn’t she see that’s right in front of her face? Only later did I think to wonder that about myself. Now I figure it happens all the time. The dolphins will take us to the place we’re supposed to end up.