Monday, April 23, 2007
comments on "snow on snow on snow"
I sent "a rest of six beats" off to Global City Review. It is unlike anything I read in the magazine. Thus I do not think they will choose to publish it. In my experience people seldom like something that is unlike what they have up to now liked. However, I sent it because I wrote it for Global City. The first version is more like what they publish, I think, but the first version is dead. The version 4, just below, is only slightly different from the version I mailed. Most significant change? Changed "corners rounded" to "figures rounded". The other poems I sent along with "a rest" are more conventional in their syntax & presentation. Maybe they'll like something. Who knows?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 4
a rest of six beats
in cloud, in rest, in abyss
crystal caught crystal
white-limned white
six sides
tires
the snow sleeps
corners rounded
a softening, a baffling
in cloud, in rest, in abyss
crystal caught crystal
white-limned white
six sides
tires
the snow sleeps
corners rounded
a softening, a baffling
Saturday, April 14, 2007
"snow on snow on snow", version 3
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
lines elide
white-limned white
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
lines elide
white-limned white
Friday, April 13, 2007
comments on "snow on snow on snow"
I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of this poem. Plus which if I'm writing it for a certain magazine I'd better wrap it up soon cuz the deadline for the theme issue is May 1 and I've gotta mail it so that means allowing for the neither-rain-nor-snow-nor-dark-of-night crowd to get it from this coast to that one. Besides, I can't send just one darn poem, right? Gotta find some others that are vaguely "knittish". Pheh. This little resolution is heading toward no-fun-ville. Let's say I have to print out and mail the batch by next Friday. That'd be the 20th. That will give the 'velope a whole week to plod across the nation (getting high on rocky mountains, oaring through the amber waves) and heave itself smelly & exhausted into the too-late pile. It's a plan.
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.9
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
lines elide
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
lines elide
Thursday, April 12, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.8
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
corners rounded
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
comments on "snow on snow on snow" in progress
November was declared National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) by a group in Oakland. I toyed with the November novel, but couldn't get it going. I completed the three-day novel a few years ago (there's a competition; I didn't win).
Some poets, feeling left out, or inspired (or both), decided since April was already National Poetry Month, why not make it NaPoWriMo? Write a poem a day! There are those who write a poem each day and post it to their blogs.
I've written a poem a day before. It's a useful exercise. It gets you past the feeling you don't have anything to say. Cuz you gotta put a few words down anyway.
But I think I've learned all I'm going to from the exercise. Plus I find that a pause in poetry writing actually recharges something. If several days have gone by since I wrote a poem the poem I write is often lively. Enforcing a silence is about as silly as forcing a noise, that is, one can learn from it, but hopefully one of the things you learn is you own best rhythm.
Rather than write a poem a day this month I decided to write one poem, each day one line. (Yes, I missed the first few days but things are going right along now.)
Some poets, feeling left out, or inspired (or both), decided since April was already National Poetry Month, why not make it NaPoWriMo? Write a poem a day! There are those who write a poem each day and post it to their blogs.
I've written a poem a day before. It's a useful exercise. It gets you past the feeling you don't have anything to say. Cuz you gotta put a few words down anyway.
But I think I've learned all I'm going to from the exercise. Plus I find that a pause in poetry writing actually recharges something. If several days have gone by since I wrote a poem the poem I write is often lively. Enforcing a silence is about as silly as forcing a noise, that is, one can learn from it, but hopefully one of the things you learn is you own best rhythm.
Rather than write a poem a day this month I decided to write one poem, each day one line. (Yes, I missed the first few days but things are going right along now.)
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.7
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
six sides
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.6
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a rest of six beats
Monday, April 09, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.5
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a softening, a baffling
Sunday, April 08, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.4
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a drowse over, arrest of
Saturday, April 07, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.3
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
a wheel locked
the snow tires
the snow quits
sleeps
Friday, April 06, 2007
"snow on snow on snow" version 2.2
crystal caught crystal
a wheel locked
the snow tires, the snow quits
a wheel locked
the snow tires, the snow quits
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
comments on "snow on snow on snow"
I've made a minor resolution (meaning, I'm not going to beat myself up if I break it): I will send a batch of poems to each of the literary magazines I've bought recently once I've finished reading it. A couple slipped by before I made the resolution so I'll not worry about those. A little over a week ago I sent poems to 26 Magazine. 26 Magazine is nearby (St Mary's College in Oakland) and the work it publishes is like enough to what I write as a matter of course that I think my poems have a decent chance with them.
The resolution is being tested by my attempts now to put together a batch for Global City Review, a magazine that ... seems to like work I'm dubious of. Why would I want to have a poem in such company? Well, it's not like they're Fox News. Having a poem in Global City Review would not be joining up with the enemy. I do like things about the magazine, some of the work. Another thing that hangs me up: Global City Review does theme issues. Can I find pieces that match their announced themes? The one I'm trying for is "Knit Together", the deadline in May.
"Snow on snow on snow" is my entry in the "Knit Together" sweepstakes. So far it feels pretty fragmentary. I had the magazine open as I wrote, trying to find a style friendly to what's in it. The poem so far has got snow doing stuff -- healing wounds, melting in the exposed water as the ice breaks, humping along as glacier. But I don't live where there's snow. My direct experience with snow has been very occasional. Its coldness always surprises me. So I'm putting the beginnings of this one out there. I'll poke at it some more.
The resolution is being tested by my attempts now to put together a batch for Global City Review, a magazine that ... seems to like work I'm dubious of. Why would I want to have a poem in such company? Well, it's not like they're Fox News. Having a poem in Global City Review would not be joining up with the enemy. I do like things about the magazine, some of the work. Another thing that hangs me up: Global City Review does theme issues. Can I find pieces that match their announced themes? The one I'm trying for is "Knit Together", the deadline in May.
"Snow on snow on snow" is my entry in the "Knit Together" sweepstakes. So far it feels pretty fragmentary. I had the magazine open as I wrote, trying to find a style friendly to what's in it. The poem so far has got snow doing stuff -- healing wounds, melting in the exposed water as the ice breaks, humping along as glacier. But I don't live where there's snow. My direct experience with snow has been very occasional. Its coldness always surprises me. So I'm putting the beginnings of this one out there. I'll poke at it some more.
snow on snow on snow
snow on snow on snow
crystal to crystal, a wheel locks
when the ice breaks
you are standing on what
used to hold a camper van
door open to Cash and Carter
a barbecue on three legs
firm footing begins its wander
nudging under
a crumble at a corner
in between the black
color of hidden water
snow snuffing dazzle instead of building banks
having brought white from the sky
to give it up?
never gonna give the mountain up
crack and crinkle, though stone
healed – bandaged anyway – by this soft press
of white on white
such white as colors lose their way
can’t find a place all winter
to raise a flag
used to be new snow would sift down on old snow
this year’s tamping last year’s
until mounds rivaled mountains
without the same patience
and the big cold territories would slide
one slushy gravelly boot grinding away
crystal to crystal, a wheel locks
when the ice breaks
you are standing on what
used to hold a camper van
door open to Cash and Carter
a barbecue on three legs
firm footing begins its wander
nudging under
a crumble at a corner
in between the black
color of hidden water
snow snuffing dazzle instead of building banks
having brought white from the sky
to give it up?
never gonna give the mountain up
crack and crinkle, though stone
healed – bandaged anyway – by this soft press
of white on white
such white as colors lose their way
can’t find a place all winter
to raise a flag
used to be new snow would sift down on old snow
this year’s tamping last year’s
until mounds rivaled mountains
without the same patience
and the big cold territories would slide
one slushy gravelly boot grinding away
Friday, March 23, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
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